lisamr

Posted by Lori2 on Oct 06, 2008 03:00 AM

Hi Lisa. I am so busy working these days I sometimes find myself coming and going at the same time. It is good to be busy as it keeps my hands free from nibbling. I haven't been so good this last week but thank heavens for a new start. How are you doing? Looks like you have lost 14! Wow girl, that is good! No fudge! Fudge is evil with calories and fat. No fudge.

Posted by SallyMander on Oct 04, 2008 01:27 PM

Hi Lisa,
I too have been bad about checking in. Been very busy with work. I have started some silly diets. I did the "Idiot Proof Diet" for 11 days in Sept (you go on it for 11 days, off 3) it worked for me but then I got into some 16 hour work days and did not worry so much about diet, but I am now on track again. I started the count back from Thanksgiving and found what start day I can have (tomorrow starts again) so I have three days off from diet for Thanksgiving anf for Christmas. I know that's so wrong, but it's so right because I know there is no way I can not eat Thanksgiving day. I am the one who cooks! but so far since I signed on in Aug I lost 10 pounds,so it's a start. Please send some of that rain to Texas. we need it. I started getting the garden cleaned up for winter. When my husband was alive he planted garlic about this time. I have not had the heart to do that the last two years but I am this year. So I am geeting a little garden work in. Have not started the walks yet. But I do watch the Biggest loser, does that count as exercise? (smile) Well here I am boring you.. Hope to see less of you.. so to speak. and I too will try to be better in tracking. Now that some numbers moved on the scale it is easier to want to. Stay safe, sally

Posted by Lori2 on Sep 04, 2008 03:47 AM

Hey Lisa. How is your week going? School is back on full tilt now I expect for you. Hope things are going fabulously. I am job hunting and hoping to find a position in a day school or child care facility. I miss working with the kids, they bring so much into your life. My own kids are so grown up. I haven't made much progress lately and not too happy with myself. Can't seem to get the kind of motivation you have. 10 pounds is doing really great! Keep working hard.
Today's funny;
A Week at the Gym

For my birthday this year my wife purchased me a week of
private lessons at the local health club. Though still in
great shape from when I was on the varsity chess team in
high school, I decided it was a good idea to go ahead and
try it. I called and made reservations with someone named
Tanya, who said she is a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and
athletic clothing model. My wife seemed very pleased with
how enthusiastic I was to get started.

They suggested I keep an "exercise diary" to chart my
progress.

Day 1. Started the morning at 6:00 AM. Tough to get up, but
worth it when I arrived at the health club and Tanya was
waiting for me. She's something of a goddess, with blond
hair and a dazzling white smile. She showed me the machines
and took my pulse after five minutes on the treadmill. She
seemed a little alarmed that it was so high, but I think
just standing next to her in that outfit of hers added about
ten points. Enjoyed watching the aerobics class. Tanya was
very encouraging as I did my sit ups, though my gut was
already aching a little from holding it in the whole time I
was talking to her. This is going to be GREAT.

Day 2. Took a whole pot of coffee to get me out the door,
but I made it. Tanya had me lie on my back and push this
heavy iron bar up into the air. Then she put weights on it,
for heaven's sake! Legs were a little wobbly on the
treadmill, but I made it the full mile. Her smile made it
all worth while. Muscles ALL feel GREAT.

Day 3. The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the
tooth brush on the counter and moving my mouth back and
forth over it. I am certain that I have developed a hernia
in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to
steer. I parked on top of a Volkswagen. Tanya was a little
impatient with me and said my screaming was bothering the
other club members. The treadmill hurt my chest so I did the
stair "monster." Why would anyone invent a machine to
simulate an activity rendered obsolete by the invention of
elevators? Tanya told me regular exercise would make me live
longer. I can't imagine anything worse.

Day 4. Tanya was waiting for me with her vampire teeth in a
full snarl. I can't help it if I was half an hour late, it
took me that long just to tie my shoes. She wanted me to
lift dumbbells. Not a chance, Tanya. The word "dumb" must be
in there for a reason. I hid in the men's room until she
sent Lars looking for me. As punishment she made me try the
rowing machine. It sank.

Day 5. I hate Tanya more than any human being has ever hated
any other human being in the history of the world. If there
was any part of my body not in extreme pain I would hit her
with it. She thought it would be a good idea to work on my
triceps. Well I have news for you Tanya - I don't have
triceps. And if you don't want dents in the floor don't hand
me any barbells. I refuse to accept responsibility for the
damage, YOU went to sadist school, YOU are to blame. The
treadmill flung me back into a science teacher, which hurt
like crazy. Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like a
music teacher, or social studies?

Day 6. Got Tanya's message on my answering machine,
wondering where I am. I lacked the strength to use the TV
remote so I watched eleven straight hours of the weather
channel.

Day 7. Well, that's the week. Thank goodness that's over.
Maybe next time my wife will give me something a little more
fun, like a gift certificate for a root canal.

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.

--
Rate this funny at
http://www.gcfl.net/archive.php?funny=20080902

Posted by Lori2 on Aug 28, 2008 02:45 AM

Share and Share Alike

An elderly couple walks into a fast food restaurant. They
order one hamburger, one order of fries, and one drink.

The old man unwraps the plain hamburger and carefully cuts
it in half. He places one half in front of his wife. He then
carefully counts out the fries, dividing them into two piles
and neatly placing one pile in front of his wife. He takes a
sip of the drink, his wife takes a sip, and then he sets the
cup down between them. As he begins to eat his few bites of
hamburger, the people around them keep looking over and
whispering, "That poor old couple -- all they can afford is
one meal for the two of them."

As the man begins to eat his fries, a young man comes to the
table. He politely offers to buy another meal for the old
couple. The old man replies that they're just fine --
they're just used to sharing everything.

The surrounding people notice the little old lady hasn't
eaten a bite. She sits there watching her husband eat and
occasionally taking turns sipping the drink.

Again the young man comes over and begs them to let him buy
another meal for them.

This time the old woman says, "No, thank you, we are used to
sharing everything."

As the old man finishes and wipes his face neatly with the
napkin, the young man again comes over to the little old
lady who had yet to eat a single bite of food and asks, "May
I ask what is it you are waiting for?"

The old woman answers, "THE TEETH."

Posted by Lori2 on Aug 26, 2008 10:59 PM

So the workouts are going good but the eating leaves a bit to be improved on. How does it go for you? Are you back to school yet? I am just loving this cooler weather and am starting to sleep again! Yea. So I have a new funny that is hilarious but a bit long;

A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy 's and shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said,

"I'd like to buy a bra for my wife."

"What type of bra?" asked the clerk

"Type?" inquires the man, "There's more than one type?"

"Look around" said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, color and material imaginable. "Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only four types of
bras to choose from."

Relieved, the man asked about the types.

The saleslady replied:

"There are the Catholic, the Salvation Army, the Presbyterian, and the Baptist types. Which one would you prefer?"

Now totally befuddled, the man asked about the differences between them.

The Saleslady responded, "It is all really quite simple. . .

The Catholic type supports the masses;

The Salvation Army type lifts the fallen;

The Presbyterian type keeps them staunch and upright; and

The Baptist type makes mountains out of mole hills."

Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, G, and H are the letters used to define bra sizes? If you have wondered why, but couldn't figure out what the letters stood for, it is about time you became informed!

(A) Almost Boobs...

(B) Barely there...

(C) Can't Complain...

(D) Dang!...

(DD) Double dang!...

(E) Enormous!...

(F) Fake...

(G) Get a Reduction...

(H) Help me, I've fallen and I can't get up!...

They forgot the German bra, Holtzemfromfloppen

(I think I need the first three bras, think they make a multi bra?)

Posted by Lori2 on Aug 23, 2008 06:01 PM

Oh joy! I just did the best run and feel so great. Time for a new funny;
OK this one is hilarious;
A Dog‘s Life!
Did you hear about the man who bought had a dog with no legs? He called it cigarette. He used to take it out for a drag.

Missing Missionary and Sick Cannibal
Did you hear about the cannibal who got sick after eating the missionary? He boiled him and he was a friar!

Posted by Lori2 on Aug 22, 2008 04:27 AM

Time to get back to the funnies;
An old man walked out onto a frozen lake on a bitter cold winter day. He drilled a hole in the ice, sat on his bucket, put his fishing line in the water and eagerly waited for a fish to bite.

He was there for almost five hours without even a nibble when a young boy walked out, drilled a hole in the ice and sat on his bucket not far from the old man. It only took about one minute and BAM! A huge walleye bit his hook and the boy pulled in the fish.

The old man couldn't believe it and figured it was just luck. Yet, the boy put his fish line in again and within just two minutes he pulled in another huge walleye!

This went on and on until finally the old man couldn't stand it any more. He hadn't caught a fish all day. He went to the boy and said, "Boy, I've been here nearly all day without even a nibble. You have been here only a few minutes and have caught TEN huge fish! How do you do it?"

The boy said, "Oo af o rep ra rums rm."

"What," asked the old man?

Again the boy said, "Oo af o rep ra rums rm.”

Freezing and impatient the old man yelled "Look, I can't understand a word you are saying."

So, the boy took off his gloves, spit a clump of stuff into his hands and said, "You have to keep the worms warm!!"

Posted by Lori2 on Aug 21, 2008 09:33 PM

Hi Lisa. Thanks for the encouragement. I have had a difficult week but I am trying to ease back into my program. It is so much cooler. I did not fair well with that extreme heat. Did it get hot for you up there in Washington?

The workout part of my program is not the difficult part for me. It is the eating restricted calories that is hard, hard, hard for me. Your exercise during breaks sounds like a good plan. Is there somewhere that you can walk away from the school? Like say in the neighborhood around the school. I used to teach Kindergarten and Preschool a few years back so I can understand how you feel. Once school starts life just gets hectic. It is amazing how much energy it takes to keep up with those little guys. But they are so full of life and wonderful to be around too. You will find the perfect program for you.

Posted by SallyMander on Aug 21, 2008 03:16 AM

Hi Lisa,
We use to have a garden, Bobby kept it up and I helped, with traveling for work I had to drop the vegetable part of the garden. Gets very hot here in texas and I am gone some times for two weeks, seems the plants want water. I have been good so far this week in not eating anything but fruit after 7PM, I would eat dinner at 9 or 10 at night. Though soon will be coming up a out of town trip and they are the hardest because my day can go from 8 in the morning to 2 or 3 in the morning. I find fast food places are opened at the late hours and there is some silly law about driving with blinders on, so I guess I will have to use some willpower. I started tracking what I eat each day, so I try to keep a list I will not feel bad about the next morning. I just repapered a wall in my computer room to a beach scene, and adding my walking machine in here, the beach is to remind me to get a bathing suit body again...And BTW, I can be gabby too. Stay safe, eat lite, sally

Posted by SallyMander on Aug 20, 2008 03:40 AM

Hi Lisa,
the one thing I should have listened to what my mother said is that it is harder to lose the wieght when you are older... Ouch I am understanding what she said too late, but it is never too late to lose the wieght. Plus my daughter really needs to lose the pounds too, so I need to lead the way for my health and to show her it can be done. I lost my husband two years ago, he always liked me on the heavy side, but that is not a healthy side and i hate telling teh grandkids I can not do something because I am too fat. One of my big problems is I work wierd hours sometimes,some times very long days, add traveling for work, plus work involes being in a restaurant up to 12 hours a day... ouch.... so I need to get a handle on this... I have given up fried food as step #1, and added more fruit. This is only week one and find I am bouncing back and forth a few pounds, but at least I made a small change in the eating habits for the better... Well need to find some watermelon to eat... Any tips are welcomed, stay safe, sally